Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
