I smell stomach acid.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
