I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
