where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
