I want to stick my p in your. b.
Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
