ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
