The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
