Sponge bath it is.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
