I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
