I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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