just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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