My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
