just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
