whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
