She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
