If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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