You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I don't deserve a penis
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
