I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
