I looked at my own cervix.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i dont even know how to be here
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
