No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
