I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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