im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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