ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
