well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I came so hard my ears popped.
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