shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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