OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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