I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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