so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Terrible idea I love it
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
