Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
