I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
