Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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