At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
