He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
