how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Enjoy the penises
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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