I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
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