I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I want to fling myself into the sun
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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