can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
