I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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