She said her name was "party"
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
