A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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