I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
