Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
