its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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