Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
