Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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