honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
