i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
