drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
