once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
