the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
