He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
